Fun at the Greengrocer
Or, “Whole Foods Never Lacks for Entertainment.” I had the extraordinarily good fortune of running into one of my favorite people – we’ll call her Bozz – at one of the worst places in the world to be...
View ArticleThings That Don’t Exist: Intolerant Omnivore Edition
I absolutely hate the grocery store. Even if I didn’t know that it was a haven for price-gouging leprechauns and “organic factory farmers,” I’d still hate it – because I was a Lit major, and the...
View ArticleFood, drugs, and freedom.
Anyone else find it ridiculous that FDA (Food and Drug administration) places FOOD and DRUGS in the same administrative category? I guess we really HAVE lost sight of what food really is – according to...
View ArticleSupermarket Comedy Hour
Ohhh, the supermarket. The Wegman’s Vortex and the Whole Foods Black Hole never cease to amaze. Every now and then the time comes to dump my dinosaur iPhone 1 photo cache, and combing through the...
View ArticleGarden of Sadness
There are two things I’m working on in my life. (Okay, there are more than two things. But these are the most important things.) First, I’m working on my back squat form. Currently, I’m stuck in what I...
View ArticleIt’s cool, y’all. I know how to fix this.
Don’t worry, guys. This is SO handled. Add back the eggs and butter. Delete everything else. Squeeze in a little lemon and enjoy your Hollandaise sauce! (The moment I saw this was so hilariously...
View ArticleCoconut: Buyer Beware.
Today, friends, I bring you a very special episode of Scoffing at Dumb Things. I’ve covered Things that Don’t Exist, I’ve had Fun at the Greengrocer, and I’ve even had a Supermarket Comedy Hour – all...
View ArticleWould you rather… (FREE STATINS edition)
Okay. This is the most important question I will ever ask, ever. It would have been more timely around Halloween (when this picture was taken) except for the fact that I didn’t give out free candy. I...
View ArticleI’m so glad you told me.
The latest news: “CONFIRMED: PALEOLITHIC CROSSFIT STYLE RED MEAT DIET CAUSE OF BAD HUMAN BODY ODOR Now corroborated in Scientific Laboratory Research Article: “The Effect of Meat Consumption on Body...
View Article5 reasons REAL EGGS beat Egg Beaters.
Confession: I used to eat Egg Beaters. All the time. Why? Because eggs are filled with saturated fat and cholesterol. Saturated fat clogs your arteries, and cholesterol gives you heart attacks. (Right?...
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